Why do people complain? Scratch that, why do people complain about things they CAN control?
This one question plagues me from time to time. I mean if you’re an able bodied person with no medical barriers holding you back on achieving your goals, why are you complaining or as I like to say “bitching” about it?
I don’t care what the goal is. It can be a finance goal, a health goal, a lifetime goal, etc. Whatever it may be, how is complaining about your current state going to get you to your destination?
It doesn’t! Matter of fact, I’m going to go out on the limb here and say complaining about your current situation instead of doing something to get you towards your goal will, wait for it, hinder your progress.
So, Mrs. Carter was on T.V the other day, kicking it with Oprah, you know just discussing life in general. My wife, a Beyonce fan or Beyonce stan (as I like to call them), and I watched the show. Me, not caring what I watch on T.V., but always looking for the lesson in whatever I watch or read, caught a gem.
Mrs. Carter aka Sasha Fierce said…
I gained 57 lbs during my pregnancy and dropped it in 3 months
My first thought was wow! That’s impressive, but I took to Twitter and Facebook and laid out a joke (as I normally do). Oh you should see my coverage of the Grammys… It’s somewhere on my Twitter timeline.
I said these exact words…
Beyonce gained 57 lbs during her pregnancy and bounced back, and most of you chicks got kids who are 17 and still talking about “baby weight” FOH
For those not in the know, “FOH” means “Fuck out of here.” Now my typical followers just simply “RT,” “Like” or chuckle at this stuff, but I forgot I was messing with stressed out Beyonce stans and complainers.
I admit, I was kind of taken back by the hate I received… here are some of the comments:
@URFinanceSimple Beyonce also got millions, nannies, personal trainers, chefs, etc. Lets see men bounce back after pregnancy without that $$ @URFinanceSimple my point is the rest of us don’t have access to all the help that someone like Beyonce does so please don’t criticize us
Easy to do when your pregancy involves a surrogate :/ RT @URFinanceSimple: Beyonce gained 57 lbs during her pregnancy and bounced back…
I’m not going to quote or list all the hate. Now, you can definitely disagree with how I conveyed my message, but can you really disagree with the meaning of it? It seems like some people took my comment as a direct insult against them instead of a call for action against laziness or complacency.
However, look closely at the two replies I received above… What are they focusing on? What are they ignoring?
Let me interrupt this post with a little positivity before I really go in:
What really grinds my gears about 99% of the responses that I got from my status update was that people attributed Beyonce’s ability to get back into great shape to her money, access, celebrity… They completely ignored that it takes a huge amount of effort to get off your ass and accomplish something.
Also what about those people who don’t have the resources of Beyonce? You’re just going to undermine their strong will and determination?
It’s easy to point fingers and blame something on someone else. However, have any of these people taken a long look in the mirror and realized that the summation of their previous actions got them to where they are today?
Why be fat when you don’t have to be?
Why be unhappy when don’t have to be?
Why be broke when you don’t have to be?
Stop acting like you don’t have a fucking choice in the matter and grow up and act responsibly. Take over your life and stop blaming external factors for your condition. You’re better than that! Until you stop blaming others for your actions for the things YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER… Beyonce will never be your friend! If you won’t implement change for yourself, implement change for your boo Beyonce (I’m looking at you Beyonce stans.
For you people out there who need motivation. I leave you with a few of quotes to get the ball rolling…
I love my butter pecan ice cream, but I also love to work out. We all have our issues. Mine is arms and legs, keeping them tight and toned. It takes work, believe me. – Beyonce
A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work. – Colin Powell
Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all. – Sam Ewing
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For those who need a little more motivation, here is Beyonce’s full documentary “Life is But a Dream”
Fuck that I’m not done….
Here is a gem I pulled from watching the documentary.
Beyonce said..
I set a goal, I some how accomplish it and I set another goal
I loved this quote, why? Well she’s not complaining. She knows life isn’t easy, she knows she is privileged, but she’s working hard and not bitching. Before you start complaining in my comments, let’s take the bullshit test.
1. Go to the nearest mirror
2. Look in it for 3 seconds, analyze your face
3. Ask yourself this question… Is there anything outside of my control stopping me from achieving my goals?
4 If you answered “NO” … You’re full of shit!
I don’t want to hear about how things are tough.. There are people all over the world going through tough situations and overcoming them. Stop looking for pity and shut up and “Do work”.
If you’re not happy with your current state of whatever… guess who’s to blame?
Also for you people complaining about not having time, resources, or access.. My wife gained 45 lbs during her pregnancy, she delivered my beautiful daughter on 1/20/2013 and in just 3 weeks she has lost 35lbs of it and has yet to even exercise. How did she do this…
She ate well balanced meals and didn’t over indulge then blame society for her not able to drop the lbs. However, do you know how she will drop the next 10lbs and possibly achieve her other fitness goals?
Wait for it… wait for it. Showing up, doing hard work and not blaming others if she doesn’t make her goals.
Who are we you ask?
(takes a deep breath) Regular ass people with day jobs, who grew up in the hood, who struggled, who got out the hood, who went to college, who know the meaning of hard work (So they no longer struggle), but more importantly know that complaining about something is the easy way out. In summation people who work with what they got and don’t worry about the shit out their control (Exhales)
You know what’s better than a sad story and self pity?
A story of how you overcame your fears and achieved your goals.. get out your own way, stop complaining and blaming the world for your issues and GET IT DONE.
As I said in my other post.. NO MORE BITCHASSNESS!
Dominique Brown
Dominique Brown is the CEO of DNB Financial Planning, landlord, financial educator and non-profit owner. He enjoys working out, helping others and everything finance. His sole purpose for creating this website is to share his passion of personal finance and to help you simplify your finances. I love questions.. So feel free to ask me anything!
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Interesting how the negative comments made by the others where all reasons why they could not loose the weight. I do have to say that having access to what Beyonce has appears to make it easier, never the less we can do anything we put our minds to. I myself have lost weight before when I really put my mind to it. At the time I was working full-time, starting a biz, working on an MBA and had a toddler. It is all about a change in thought process.
My thoughts exactly. People need to focus in their circle of influence instead of their circle of concern.
Very good post. I like the visuals and the content.
Thanks for stopping by!
I normally lurk, but this was a great post and I had to comment and say so.
Thanks for reading! Feel free to comment more often. Did you join the free giveaway?
What’s a stan?
A Stan is a crazy deranged fan, who would do anything (murder, steal, kill) for their celebrity crush. This term was popularized by Eminen in his song “Stan”. Check out the song, it’s amazing
Shout out to all the Beyonce haters. It’s easy to throw shade when you’re upset about how you don’t work as hard as the next person. I give Beyonce props for doing what she does. She works her ass off and she is reaping the benefits. She started her career as a kid! She’s been dedicated for longer than most people can claim and so she knows what it means to work for something. Of course a personal trainer and nutritionist can help, but damn you can get that off Instagram! No excuses! (oh yeah, great post)
That’s my thought exactly. Beyoncé out in over 10,000 hours perfecting her body and craft. She is an example of what hard work is.. She should be hated on, but looked to for motivation. I just don’t understand negative people sometimes.
Great post and probably the best title for a post I’ve seen in a while. Cheers!
Bahaha ” Fuck that I’m not done” . Haven’t read much of your stuff but I LOVED this post-I agree, something sucks? Change it!
I was going to cut the article short, but had a little bit more to say lol. I’m gladed you enjoyed it.
Hmm, maybe you should point out the law of thermodynamics. Calories in > calories out? Gain weight. Calories in < calories out? Lose weight.
Now, there are tricks you can do to increase and decrease the rate at which calories are spent – everything from working out to taking drugs to meal timing are possibilities. However, the easiest thing you can do is to reduce calories in – you can't create energy from nothing. If you can? Well, you've solved the world's power problems, congrats!
So, in conclusion – Beyonce doesn't have more resources. She ate less resources. It’s safe to say that the complainers use more resources than Beyonce.
Awesome post! So very true.
Dom, I really like this post and know the feeling. One doesn’t need to be Beyonce either to get this kind of response. Whenever people do something extraordinary a wave of negativism (a relatively small one, I haste to add) rises and starts chanting: ‘yeah but…’.
maria, my thoughts exactly… it’s so easy to hate these days :/
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