I’m a firm believer in incentives. I’m trying to figure out the best way to incentives my kid.
So, I’m running a few studies on my new little sister. Oh you thought I was an only child?
Yea me too, I was an only child until May of 2012, then I found out I had about 6 or 7 other siblings.
Papa was a rolling stone apparently, anyways yea I have a couple half bro’s and sisters.
One of them happens to be 13 years old and one I can have the most impact on, so I’m a really focused on her.
I found out really quickly that she respond pretty well to incentives and like me is very smart.
Just like me, she also is bored easily with traditional school and acts out if bored.
So I used an incentive
This is the deal. I would give her $150 bucks if she could get straight A’s and perfect marks in effort and behavior.
This ultimately requires her not only pass her classes, but participate and not be a class clown in the process.
So far she has returned straight A’s, but has failed in her effort and behavior marks. She assured me that she will do better next marking period.
One friend of mine said:
Raise the stakes next semester to 500 and watch her do it!! You are gonna be a good dad
I personally think $500 bucks is a bit overkill and that $150 can get the job done. Hell, $150 is a lot of freaking money for a 13 year old.
So, what do you think? Is it acceptable to use use incentives to get your kids to do well in school, activities or hobbies?
Dominique Brown
Dominique Brown is the CEO of DNB Financial Planning, landlord, financial educator and non-profit owner. He enjoys working out, helping others and everything finance. His sole purpose for creating this website is to share his passion of personal finance and to help you simplify your finances. I love questions.. So feel free to ask me anything!
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It’s working now, but it will burn out.
I’d hesitate to provide incentives for something that should be rewarding in itself, like learning. It sends the wrong message.
But at the end of the day I think the American school system is such a mess I’m not sure if it makes any difference.
A healthly mix of intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation should suffice or are you saying any motivational technique would eventually not work? As far as sending the wrong message… how exactly is using motivation/bribes to accomplish a goal sending the wrong message?
I personally have mixed feelings about using incentives for kids. On one hand, I think it’s giving kids the wrong message by telling them that only if they behave or do well in school or whatever it is…that they will be rewarded. What happens when the reward is not there? Your child will only be behaving because of a reward and you will always have to reward them to get them to do what you want…which I think is wrong. You should be teaching your child how to behave properly because it is the right thing to do. I think back to how I was raised and there were no incentives. You behaved/got good grades….OR ELSE!
But on the other hand…I can see how some incentives may work for some kids for certain things. I think if you mix it in sometimes it can be good…just as long as it’s not an “expected” thing all the time. Every child is different and you will quickly find out what and what doesn’t work for your child.
I agree with you.. it depends on the kid. The very first thing would be to try to teach them to work hard all the time, but sometimes kids / people need an added push to go the extra mile. I look at it like working out and eating right. You probably won’t always eat perfectly and work out all the time, so you make deals with yourself and reward yourself sweets or cheat days. There needs to be balance.
I think your last paragraph is the key. No parent is going to rely solely on incentives, but there are circumstances when an incentive will turn an otherwise good kid into an excellent / amazing kid.
I don’t see any problem with incentives. They work because people like to be rewarded. As long as you don’t go overboard with it like you get a car if you mow the lawn kind of deal. I am sure that you won’t, but some parents do that kind of messed up incentive.
hahah… I think every kid would love the incentive of getting a car for mowing the lawn. That’s the tricky thing about incentives you need to find what the kid truly desires before implementing the program.
First of all, let me say that I too have half brothers and sisters from a father who’s ‘gathered no moss’. Mine number 23. Oldest is 38, youngest is 6.
Anyway, yes, incentives are a great idea. I use them to get my eldest to do chores, study for tests, and focus in class. Rewards are always better than consequences – it’s a proven fact.
What incentives do you use to get your eldest to do things?
Incentives work. We’re incentivised every day at work to earn money. So, yeah go for it
Hmm.. that’s a good point. However, the incentive of a paycheck is kind of fleeting unless I’m really endanger of losing my job. There is a level of effort issue… I know for a fact that I can do just enough and stay employed, but a paycheck often isn’t enough to get a person to go above and beyond.