One of my twitter followers sent me the following email with his 2 lessons learned from being a new parent. I think it’s great advice!
Congratulations on your upcoming baby girl! As I’m sure many have already told you, you’re life is about to change drastically. I know for me, it gave me a whole different perspective on life and made me really question what I truly valued in life. I value my time much much more now, and if an activity, task or event comes up that I can delegate to someone else, or it doesn’t align with my core values, I won’t do it because it will take away time that I could be spending with my daughter.
Everyone will definitely be giving you parenting tips…and I’ve learned one thing from all the advice I’ve heard… take everyone’s advice with a grain of salt. I say this because at the end of the day…this is YOUR child. No one else’s. And you and your wife are the one’s who get to decide how you will shape, mold and raise her. You guys get to instill whatever values you choose into your child. Every child is different..so what works for one child..may or may not work for your child.
But the best two pieces of advice/tips I can give you would be:
1. When you bring your daughter home from the hospital, it will be the first time ever that you and your wife will spend alone with your daughter in your home. A friend of mine told me to turn off all our phones, and do not let anyone come by and visit for a couple of hours. Take this time to soak in the moment of your beautiful child in your home for the first time. Let it sink in that you three are now a family. Take the time to just appreciate it and just sit in quiet and watch her. It truly is amazing. Because if you decide to have another child later on..the moment will not be the same. The second child will be running around the house and you won’t be able to enjoy the moment the same way.
I can say from experience..me and my wife did this and it was the BEST advice we’ve received so far..hands down!
And if for some reason you can’t stop people from coming over…take the long way home. Drive around for a little while..stop somewhere and just enjoy how peaceful your child looks. These are the moments that will stay with you forever!
2. You and your wife have to be on the same page as to how you will discipline her, raise her, and decide on what values you want to instill in her.
If you are not on the same page, it will be a source of arguments and with lack of sleep and everything going on..that’s the last thing you want to argue about.
Also, try to get on the same page for how you will handle crying at night time. Some parents let their child cry it out…others run the second their child starts to cry. To each their own. I’m not going to say one way is better than the other..but each way will produce different results with your child and what they begin to expect as they get older. It all depends on what you want your child to know as the “norm” as time goes by.
I’ll never forget standing in front my daughter’s door like a football player trying to stop my wife from running in the room..LOL!! I kid you not. It wasn’t pretty. But we came to a compromise..and we would let her cry for about 15-20mins. And if she didn’t stop….I’d let my wife go and get her. Eventually…my daughter started falling back asleep on her own. So as I said..as long as you guys are on the same page…you will be fine.
You’ll see that kids are like clay. You LITERALLY can mold them how you want. Manners was big on my list. So we drilled it into her that she has to say please and thank you. She just turned 2, but she was saying please and thank you about around 1-1.5 yrs. Everyone always tells us that she is very polite whenever we go anywhere. Simple things like that make a big difference.
Above anything else…just enjoy every moment. The first year goes by sooooooo fast..it’s not even funny. So appreciate it all. Enjoy every day…because life is short and tomorrow is not promised to anyone.
Wishing you all the best..and feel free to drop me a line if you ever have any questions.
Rj aka @SimpleMoolah
What do you think of RJ’s advice?